I want to change for a better. I want, i want, i want, i promise. (: Maybe i realise i cant afford to lose people around me. Maybe i realise i'm always making them sad. Maybe i realise i'm not a good friend or a good girlfriend. But this time, whatever the reason may be, i'm just gonna change. Be it your slave, your dog or what, i'll do things that goes your way. I sound like a pathetic dog, but i dont care. I just want to satisfy people around me, keep them by my side, that's all. But i'll only change for the close ones, not any others.
Alright. Boyfriend, i'm sorry. I've hurt you- so much ? I promise you i'll change. You dont have to change anything. (: Thank you for the love, Thank you for the care, Thank you for bearing with me, Thank you for giving in to me all the time, Thank you for being there for me, Thank you for being a listener, Thank you for coming online today, Thank you for everything. I love you. I cant bring myself to forget you, i'm sorry. I made such a big mistake as i thought i could. I can't lose you, i'm sorry. Many times i doubt you. Maybe because i just want you to prove to me by actions. This is what i took you for granted always. Times when i see your friendster, Girls that gave you comments made me jealous. I'm sorry to be so sensitive. And times when you uploaded new pictures, You seems so cheerful. And that would make me think, Without me, you're a better guy. (: I made a mess in your life, i'm sorry. Today onwards, i'll do whatever you want me to to make up that part. I'll mend that heart of yours. And look at me (O.O), I love you, really._________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Poor september holiday. ): Sonnnnn, why does your birthday fall on september holiday ! Ahhhhhhhh, bad timing. ):
And Happy Teachers' Day ! :D Haha.
I've currently no plans for september. I'm BERRY BERRY BERRYYYY the free ! :D No money for holiday, how am i gonna live like that ? Mygod, sad. ):
I wanna buck uppppppppppp ! October's coming, which means my EOY is around the corner already. Ohmy, ohmy. Bless my studies, especially english. (:
Studies, studies, studies, studies. Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. Mad, mad, mad, mad. Thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. Whirling, whirling, whirling, whirling. Sad, sad, sad, sad. Forget, forget, forget, forget. Stm, stm, stm, stm. Poor, poor, poor, poor. Quarrels, quarrels, quarrels, quarrels. What, what, what, what. Dont know already, Dont know already, Dont know already, Dont know already. Lmao.
Tags replied: Bee- :Can we dont talk over here ? Msn please. Celia :Hahaha, yeah ! Gemma :Is it ? Nevermind, i dont care too. They immature la. :X sandra :Alright, will relink you soon. (:
I want to stop myself from loving you more each day.
3:31 PM
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget, I want to forget you. To not care much about you, To not miss you anymore, That's the way to it. (: Forget, forget, Forget, forget, Forget, forget.
Sometimes i have the urge to just slap the guys in my class up, really ! They are so damn immature. Yeah, whatever, i'm immature too. But isn't guys suppose to be more responsible than us or something like that ? They talk things like nobody's business. -.- Such a un-united class i have, poor fate. Kinda glad that i actually indirectly talk back to them. Hmm, actually everytime. :X They are so CHILDISH for goodness sake. x.x I hate the guys in my class. Greendale Seconday has NO GENTLEMEN. Except some, yes. (: But majority isnt, i'm serious. What's wrong being fat ? I can tease you guys too, 'HAIRLESS-SMOOTH LEG !' HAHAHAHA. What did she do to your that your have to say her like this ? So evillllllllllllllllllllll.
Lalalala, just writting some irrelavant things here. Dont mind, cause afterall, THIS IS STILL MY DIARY. Who cares whether what i write here ? Haha. Dumb ! :D
Tags replied: yiping :Alright, will relink you soon. :D Bee- :You always think that i've regretted, then take it that i dont have the heart to. (: I'm just giving you an anyhow answer to let you happy since you so want me to say 'Yes, i've regretted.' So be it. (:
Tags replied: Bee- :Everytime we kept quarrelling over stupid things, will our love stay for long ? FRAN♥ :That gay in our school, english number 1 one. :X Gemma :Yeah, of course i do remember ! (:
I'm gonna use quite alot 'Fuck' word in here. So if you're under 13, please seek parent's permission and must be supervised by adults who are 60 years and above. (:
Okay, just one word and i can describe today. (FUCK) Yes, that's the word. Why fuck ? School fuck, outside fuck, audi fuck, boyfriend fuck. How fuck can this day really be ? Noisy fucking classmates i have, Fuck the mood i'm having outside and fuck, Why am i blamed on everything ? Fuck yes, all my fault. Story mode, fuck you. Fucking audi-ers kept dc-ing every rounds of my story. Fuck you damn fuck-hard. I just needed that 5 fucking rounds and it turns out like i needed 8 and more fucking rounds. Worse still, i haven even got 1 successful fucking round. Fucking pathetic right ? Hahahhaha, (fuck). Life has fucking ups and downs, i definitely fucking know it. But why it seems like the downs kept fuckingly coming to me all the time ? Why doesn't my fuck life get happy at all ? Why the fuck am i always in the wrong ? Who the fuck can fuckingly tell me what the fuck have i fuckingly done wrong ? And who the hell can tell me what the fuck do all the fucking you want from the fucking pathetic me ? I fuckingly care, and people fucking ignore me. Just what's so wrong ? I dont understand a fuck. All i know is that i'm fucking frustrated right now. And all i could think of is fuck, nothing else. I dont wanna fuckingly think of anything else, they dont fuckingly worth my brain. I just wasted my fucking time on them. What the fuck am i doing and saying now ? I dont fucking know it. I'm fucked up, that's all. Fucking scold me, tease me, laugh at me. Now i really dont fucking care already. Do whatever you fuck guys want, i'll keep my fucking hands off. I want to become fucking selfish already. And i wanna fuckingly live for myself and noone. Maybe some fucking day, i might say fuck love. No one knows. Fuck the world tonight, i'm having fucking bad mood. Dont fuckingly talk to me today, i'll fuckingly show you attitude. By then, dont fucking blame me. Because i've already told the fucking you that i'm having fucking bad mood. Today is pretty._________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Today i shall just reply tags. Really nothing to post about. (:
Tags replied: Bee- :I told her earlier already, i dont know if she remembers it or not. (: FRAN♥ :o.o Chim meh ? My boyfriend's english more chim. You wont even understand, cause i, myself, dont understand too. HAHAHA. :X
Tags replied: Bee- :You slap me harder okay ! -angry* You made my tears almost drop. x.x Bee- :Hey ! That's not without reason okay. You irritated me with your lame-ness so i couldn't start it anymore and i slapped you. And you slapped me harder than i do ! ): Nope, i wont tell you. I think fran knows about it, not sure. :X Gemma :December chalet sure buy for you ! Haha. Gemma :Didnt we said we will open one during the december holidays ?!
Went out with bee today. Was supposed to meet at 10am, which we probably will meet at 11am or 12pm. Cause we're never early. But ended up both of us overslept. And were there by 1pm or 2pm, cant really remember. :X
Head to town and blahhh, bored. Nothing to shop and whathefuck okay, my shoes spoilt again ! It's already the second time, i'm fucked up over my shoes, really. ): Sucha lousy shoes, damn it. :X
Was suppose to say something to him, But i dont have the guts to and i dont dare. x.x Guide me through please ! :D
At around 7pm+, we headed down to marina square and ate dinner. Thanks boyfriend for that dinner. (: & Fuck you too. (For slapping me so hard. -.-) Waited for his friends and we went to watch fireworks ! :D It's damn pretty laaaaaaaaa, wooohooooo ! (:
Then went to boat quay and blahh. Nothing else and went home. :D
I just realise that my skin is sensitive. x.x How sad. ):
So, nothing else, bye people ! (:
Tags replied: FRAN♥ :Haha, of course wont mind ! :D Thanks yeah. (:
Yesterday i've been suffering from a bad and serious sore throat. x.x Drink water pain, swallow saliva pain, talk also pain. Very hard for me bodoh. ):
And yes, i cried to sleep last night. Terrible night, you know ? D: Yeah, i do agree im pretty weak. I cant stay strong and not to cry. Small matter, i cry. What else ? I'm still not yet a grown-up.
First guy i ever cried so hard for. First guy that i'm truely serious into. Why must things happen like this ? I dont usually apologise to people, even if it's my fault. I apologised to you, yet you dont accept it. It's okay if you dont want to forgive me. At least i apologise for what i've done wrong. I neglected you for audi, yes, that's my fault. I've said so many sorry, yet none make you feel better. From my opinion, i think i did change. I tried to improve my attitude, my temper and everything. I tried to say thank you and other basic manners. Nobody observe that i've actually changed. I always tried to please the people around me. Noone realised. Basically, who cares ? One time tell me you doesn't know what to do to forgive me. The other time you tell me you're forgiving me. What are you thinking ? I dont need your sympathy. You hate being threaten, and i kept doing it on you. Whatever i said, done or what, you're always unhappy about me. Why is it that everything that i do dont satisfy anyone ? You didnt felt the love. You didnt felt the happiness. You didnt felt anything from me. I do appreciate things that you've done for me. But that doesn't prove the love i want. I'm tying to bond back how fun we were back then. Nothing's working. The distance between us is getting further. What should i do ? What can i do ? Why is all these happening to only me ? The love will slowly fade into the background. I can only watch it disappear. I cant think of what i can do to hold this relationship. Because whatever i do, you'll just get hurt by me. I'm a negative person, i think on the negative side of you. What you like, what you hate, Who you're always with, i dont know anything. I'm not a good girlfriend. I'm just a normal girlfriend who always hurt you, break your heart and doesn't know a single shit about you. I'm sucha failure. What else can i say to you ? I dont know any topics between us. I'm doubting your love for me. I just couldn't bring myself to trust you. It's not like only you're the one who has always been forgiving and forgeting. I did too. See, noone realise. Because i forgive and forget so much, i get hurt even in friendship. Forgiving and forgeting too much isn't good at all. But i always keep things to myself just because i wanna save up the quarrels. It's tiring to quarrel with you. It hurts me whenever we quarrel. You always think that i keep things from you because i wanna hide secrets. I'm so fine with it. And everything's just wrong. I'm always in the wrong. Because i never knew what's right. Define them and define love.
Oh yeah, i found a curler at Watson ! $17.90, cheap ! :D Hohoho, i'm gonna get. (: Then, i wont have to perm my hairrrrrrrrrrrr. Hahah.
So next tuesday, i'm going down wisma with Celia and biaomei. Woooo, cant wait. Cause i'm gonna get new clothes. Ahhhhhhh, finally. (: Haha. Maybe if i left some money, i can buy my curler tooooooo. Wow, cool. Hope can buy my curler on that day. x.x
Okay, and i'm pretty bored right now. I'm going in audi already. (: Bye peepers. :D
Tags replied: Bee- :Blahh, it's a secret. I never gonna tell you what it is. Rosamund :Thanks for tagging yeah, chiobu. (: FRAN♥ :What you mean ' more than what you have for BIAOJIEFU. ' ? o.o
Yeah, i bought my "full-length" mirror from Ikea ! :D Hohohoho. (:
I've got a colourful lips. It's Red & Purple. Niceeeeeeeeee ~ :D Lips sticks don't even come with these kind of colour combination. I'm so lucky to be the first to have them. Hahaha, okay, sarcastic. x.x
Currently my forehead is pasted on with 2 Nexcare Acne Patch. (: Wooooo, i'm so looking forward till it turns white. And slowly see my pimples gone ! Hahahaha. Amazing ? That's magic, and magic cannot be revealed. Lol. Okay la, i damn lame today. don't know what has got into me. Hahah.
I'm playing audi more often already ! Been donating to fam guild. And i donated the most ! but no prize. -.-
Tags replied: FRAN♥ :Hhaha, got touching award for me ? :D What's a bjf ? o.o
I'm gonna go late for my cca. This cca of mine is sucky, i hate it. I'm so freaking bored now. ): Nothing to doooooooo. I'm waiting for the time to go for cca. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, bored. x.x
Hey biaomei, cheer up alrights. Though i dont know how to cheer people up, But i'm still with you all the way. I'll be by your side and share your troubles together. Wipe your tears and let bygones be bygones. Dont dwell over it anymore. Stay cheerful and bump the people up like you used to ! Dont sit there and stare at the floor, not pretty. ): Alright alright, cheer yeahs. :D I love you, biaomei.
Tags replied: FRAN♥ :Wow, spam me ? Pardon me if my dinosaur come out. :X Hahah. Cheers ah. Bee- :' . ' ? Nice tag. x.x ▫♥/Jessica, :Wooooooo, long time never chat already sia ! ): You too, takecare ! :D Celia :Hahah. (:
School was bad for me today. Leg muscleache, stomachache. Ohhhhh, so unlucky. ):
Planned not to go for POA extra lesson, So i told ms shang and she said need mc if i dont go. -.- What shit man, stomachache leh ! For your 1 hour extra lesson then i go buy mc. Crazy bodoh. :X Lucky i manage to pull through the whole day with my stomachache. x.x
Now, leg muscleache. Either walking or climbing the stairs, i feel like falling. My legs are like jelly, really ! x.x Lol.
Ohmy, tomorrow i have social studies and i have yet to complete my social studies worksheet ! Alright, bye ! Imma going to complete it now. :D
Went out with Celia just now. So went around orchard to find her Kappa school shoes. We spent 5 hours looking for it, really ! x.x While finding, we found so many things that we wanna buy ! It's omgggggggggg. I'm gonna quickly save up and head down to buy them. They're all gonna be mineeeeee. HAHAHA.
Oh, i forgot to tell everyone this fun thing coming up !
If you're unable to see it clearly, I'll type it here for better view.
-----------------------------------------
Date : 31st August 2008, Sunday. Theme : Funk It Up Venue : PLAY (21 Tanjong Pagar Road) Time : 9pm till late Age Limit : Mix age
It's going to be Ravishing and Posh. The LAVISHLY designed club would bring up the Glamour in you. The elegant yet soothing ambience offers will definitely be a night to remember with DJ FUNKY MONKEY spinning full R&B/REGGAE the whole night. a PARTY fill with FLYING COLOURS
REDBLUEGREENYELLOW UNO is a game I guess most of us had tried. Luck plays too much in the game,you will have no control in your own destiny. Do participate for the Exclusive Competition! And let us see where’s our Lady Luck will be.(attractive prizes will be given out for winners)
And a PEEPSHOW for you. Featuring range of Funky collections ! Make sure you girls are geared up & ready for this summer. Drool as you watch our 8 HOT MODELS strut down the runway.
Stop pondering and wasting your youth days away. It’s meant to be a social activity, so come on down and PARTY with flying colours !
FOR TICKETS RESERVATIONS AND/OR INTERESTED TICKET DISTRIBUTORS;
Yeah, so head down to Tanjong Pagar on the 31st ! :D & Have fun. (:_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Wooo, Happy 3rd month bee ! :D Ahhhhhhhh, WO HAO AI NI OH. :X Haha.
National day school celebration, fun yet boring. :X Ended at 10.30, went home straight. Prepared and met bee at dhoby. Andandandandanddddd, i look so f-ing mature in that outfit ! But my shoes are limited. x.x Therefore, my shoes doesnt fit my outfit. And i look kinda weird. :X Now i need shoes. S-H-O-E-S, SHOES.
Bought my Casio watch ! :D:D:D Damn happy okay, hahah. Hesitated quite long and decided to eat at NewYork for lunch. FULLLLLLLLL. x.x And it's VERY VERY VERYYYYY spicy, for me. :X LOL. My tongue was burning hot, serious. Then Esplanade and slacked ? And home ! :D Wow, new record ! Around 7-8pm i reached home already. (: Hahahaha.
I saw a tiko uncle today. ): He's a pervert, i swear. :X
Tags replied: Bee- : o.o Dont know leh. Wait till i got money to watch movie and buy new shoes first. :X Hahah.
Yeah, i just received my shawl ! :D Happy, happy. (: Hmm, not that happy. I'm still thinking through.. Should i forget ? Should i forgive ? Should i give in ? Should i smile ? Should i.
So tomorrow, Do you wanna save money or spend money ? Simple question, so answer me with a simple save or spend.
I'm still missing and loving the days we spent. I love it, i miss it, i like it. I'm yearning for more, but no more.
Alright, i shan't talk about that anymore. So yeah, gonna buy that Casio watch tomorrow. (: Yeah ! :D And i'm interested in watching Prom Night ! Wooo, when i'm free, when i'm free. Haha. Horror movies are my favourite. Never invite me to boring documentary shows, they're totally boring. Horror movies are thrilling and exciting ! :D Okay, i'm crazy. x.x
Alright, that's all. Bye. And I GOT MY SHAWLS, I'M HAPPY. :D
Wooooo, i found back that Casio watch again ! It went missing at punggol and it actually ran to orchard ! Wow, cool watch. LMAO. :X I wanna get it, get it, get it. Hahahah, (:
School was fine. I recalled about my test and i realised that i lost quite alot of marks. Due to stupid mistakes ? Ahhhhh, D: I tried to sleep most of the lessons but the teacher's voice was too sharp. And worse, i sit in the front row. -.-
Tags replied: Bee- :Lalala, noooooooooo. I cant tell you ! :D
Okay, bad news. ): Yeaterday night, i went over to punggol plaza and wanted to ask biaomei which watch should i buy. I was aiming that white pink watch and now it's gone. I AM SO SO SO SO SOOOO DAMN SAD OKAY ! TT I'm gonna go around singapore and find another one. Rahhh, stupid ! Who the fcuk took my wanted-watch ? D: And i'm so gonna like kill that person. x.x Hmph ! :X
Nevermind. So yesterday went to celebrate shuting's birthday. WOOOOO. :D Fun okay ! But the surprise didnt work successfully. ): Nevermind, it's okay. Haha. Soon student came and joined us but he was so shy and quiet. Lalala ~ :X Hah.
Yeahyeah ! I'm meeting bee todayyyyyyyyyyy. Weeeeeeeeeeee, :D Okay, byebye peepo. (: I go get busy with my stuffs now. Takecare ! :D
Okay, let the pictures and videos do the talking today. (: There's heavy loads of them ! :D Enjoy ya. (:
Tags replied: Rosamund :Okay, linked chiobu le. (: Jasmin :Thanks mei for tagging ! :D
Stupid stupid stupid. ): Such a cold jokes, not funny at all can ! I preferred to hear real one, ON THE PHONE. What druudruu* , urgh, sad okay. ): Dont want tell me real life, sua. Jiu zhi dao you've regretted ! Rahhrahhrahh, sad.
So many times i tested your patience. But you gave up so easily, how disappointing. This time not even 5 minutes, you've already given up. I always thought you would do something and cheer me up, But no, everything seems so wrong and different. But it's okay, get used to it, the best way.
Yeah, so today is shuting's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! :D
Tomorrow is shuting's birthday ! Woooooo. :D Haha, excited. (:
So clara asked me to help her post. A 7 pages story. Spent me a crazy time typing. x.x But it's okay, i've got nothing to do too.
I'm really brokeeeee. Left 15 bucks only. Ohmyyyyy, how do i go out tomorrow ? No money, how ? ):
Haven't seen bee for 2 weeks ? And i miss him alot bodoh. D: Urghhhhh, sunday sunday ! Hoho, finally. Hhahaha. :X 2 more days till i see him once again. (: Ahhhhhhh, happy. :D:D:D !
Lol, i'm hungry. ): Stupid shawls, zemo man ! x.x I want that patent baggggggggggggg, really ! I'm so crazy over that bag, it's so cute okay ! Hahahaha. :X
Alright, bye ! I'm going audi for awhile. (:
People who plays audi too, Do add me up if you wish to yeah. Ign : -KUKU_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
