I had a great time with you, really i do. Although sometimes you're irritating on the phone because you just couldn't stop disrupting me, i still, nevertheless, love talking to you on the phone. But we just can't.. we have our reasons why. I really love it when we finally talked on the phone again. It felt like i haven't talk to you for years. I felt so good hearing you disrupting me again, like i know something's not missing. I was so excited, i burst out all the stories that happened. But when times i did something wrong without knowing it myself and you go all quiet, i know you were upset about me, but i just want to know.. i always hope to have someone telling me what's the problem or easier, read your mind. I can't deny the fact that i'll get really angry because it just makes me feel like making up to you but i just don't know what to do to know and to help. You may not be a super sweet guy, but there are times you were really sweet and you made my day no matter what. (: I like it a lot. And it's also the things you do. The things you got for me may not be expensive or whatever, but you were sincere. Like the time you broke my sandals, we had to find Rubi and get a pair of slippers and the price of it was "$5 with any purchase" and you took the time to find something nice, not bothering about the price. I didn't expect you to get me a $14.50 necklace for all i needed then was just a pair of slippers. We had ups and downs, but i made it clear that i love you no matter what we're going through and a break up won't be a solution for me. Most of the time, you made my day. Like the time when Varun told me something about you which i can't really remember what it was, but i know that really made my day. Really.. it did. I know you cared.. and when i was drunk during the last day of the year, you couldn't sleep in peace because i was too drunk to reply your text and you were worried. I'm so glad i had a bf who cared. And it was so nice to receive a morning text from you everyday. We knew each other for barely 2 days then we got together, people said we're fast and it wouldn't be true. I know i was serious, so i tried to trust you in all that i can. I wasn't toying, never did.
Perhaps you are often angry because you didnt felt loved by me, but in fact i do. Maybe because i dont know how to show it. I'm petty, i know. But it's the insecurities in me. I just want to keep you by my side, i'm afraid.. just afraid. I'm sorry if there are times i pisses you off because i'm childish, petty, unreasonable or what. I want you to forgive me, because all i want was your acknowledgement, promises and love. We played truth on MSN and there are things that i said was what i think i am able to change to after my ex. But sometimes, i just felt like i made history repeats. I'm sorry. I don't know how to control and manage myself well. And it hurts A LOT to know that you think i was lying for being away from the phone. FYI, i don't lie. There are things i think i shouldn't have told you, but i just came honest with you. So there wasn't really much of a thing that i lied, so there's no reason why i should lie about being away. I was hurt, not about being accused for lying, but for what we're in a relationship and i see no trust from you. There's a reason why i thought "maybe you think relationship is all about making out" at that moment, it's just not nice to say it here. I lost my trust in you that day, i have no idea why. But it was just that moment.
I know you hate it when i tell people about our problems because we could have solved it within ourselves, but i admit, i told many about our breakup and i seeked for advice. They say to let go and say you might be just toying with me and maybe you found another girl to replace me. They stated reasons that made sense but i still felt my heart was missing something. I knew i wanted you back again. But i don't know how to approach you. I put all my trust in you back again and listed thousands of "maybe you are...?" they say i was covering up for you. But it was because i gave my trust because i love you. I tried to put myself in your shoes, maybe i was really at fault for saying sucha thing. But i was feeling so unloved, like i was toyed with. I don't know what to do. They told me to not get you back until you ask just to see if you really cares and loves me. I tried my best, i just couldn't see my own smile. My heart was itchy to get you back to my side. The girls told me to get you back because they could see that you were sincere. I've no idea what to do. I just hope i can read your mind, so i'ld know what i should do. I'm really sorry for what i did that hurt you so deep. I want you back again.. only if i can. Just hoping like everything rewinds to the day we first met and knew each other again.
A broken heart with million shattered pieces.. time won't heal. Time will never be able to stick them all back perfectly. ):
I love you. <3_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Loots for day. 14th Feb, house visiting to Grand's place. (:
This year's CNY is boringgggg. I couldn't go almost everywhere. I mean, my paternal's mum died recently and some people are superstitious. So this year's CNY i've to stay at home and rot with my comp. ):
BUT
Grandma allowed us to go to her house for house visitng!! (: YAY.. and I received a few angbaos today. I don't know how much i got because when i got home, my mum opened them up and that's it, i'm confused. Daddy gave me a hundred the day before, so i'm still a happy currently-rich girl here. HAHAHA.
Anyway, i was at my Grand's place rotting like the same at my house. They were all playing mahjong and i was so bored, i switched on the computer and started using them. (:
Been meeting up with Nic and Edi recently. (: Besties for life! HAHAHA.
Suck it up, biatch. You'll never find any better friends who once treated you so well yet you don't cherish and appreciate.
I felt so bad and funny at the same time cause Nic was angry with me because i was late for hours(as usual!!!) and Edi was making fun of me. HAHAHAH.
Oh, and i caught 'I hate Valentine's day' with baby on Friday. Not that bad, i laughed at it almost throughout the whole show? But it's nice, really nice. More like a comedy. I love the last part. So nice, so sweet. (: Hehehe.
Wanted to actually catch Valentine's Day but Isaac said it sucked and wanted to catch My Ex... BUT IT'S NOT IN THE THEATRE!!! So who watched it already?!?!?! OMG. I wanna catch it, likeeeeee NIZEEE. (: HAHAHA.
I also shopped crazily recently.. excuse is: For CNY shopping. And the fact: Merely shopping. HAHAHAHAAHAH. I couldn't even celebrate CNY, so i could only do simple shopping but ended up spending a few hundreds on them. AWWWW, BROKE BROKE BROKE. Hahahahahahahahaha.
(Hottieeeeee. Awww, beautiful eyes, beautiful face, beautiful boy. I like!!)
There was a new girl in town, She had it all figured out. And I'll state something rash, She had the most amazing smile. I bet you didn't expect that, But she made me change my ways. With eyes like sunsets baby, And legs that went on for days.
I'm falling in love But it's falling apart I need to find my way back to the start When we were in love Things were better than they are Let me back into... Into your arms
She made her way to the bar I tried to talk to her but she seemed so far In my league I had to find a way to get her next to me
I'm falling in love But it's falling apart I need to find my way back to the start When we were in love Things were better than they are Let me back into... Into your arms
Oh she's slippin away I always freeze when I'm thinking of words to say all the things she does make it seem like love if it's just a game then i like the way that we play
I'm falling in love But it's falling apart I need to find my way back to the start
I'm falling in love But it's falling apart I need to find my way back to the start When we were in love Things were better than they are Let me back into... Into your arms Into your arms Into your arms
I seriously miss my BB. ): Has the bill come yet? I wanna change back to my BB. ): This phone suck big time. ): ): ):
Oh, to people who wouldn't stop asking what happened to my phone, it's getting irritating. I've been repeating the whole story and i'm tired of it!!!
The reason why i changed my phone is because my phone bill came last month and it was said that my Broadband usage within a day was $30+ and i was shocked because all i used was Wi-Fi connected and within a day, i can't use up to $30 that much, so my bro thought it might be an accidental use. So he asked me to change my phone to some cheapskate army phone and see how's the bill this month.
SO IN CONCLUSION: FUCK THE BILLS, FUCK SINGTEL.
I MISS YOU BB. ): People say you're too big and fat and doesn't suit a girl, but i still love you. HAHAHA. Awwwww..
Okie dokie, i'm going off now. Need wake up super early tomorrow for house visiting at K's! (:
Oh, and i've changed my name to Corrine Higgins. Nice huh? Ok, i love it anyway. Teeeeheeeee!
Corrine Higgins <3 "You had the most amazing smile."_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
